im living in hell

im living in hell

there is no god, there is no devil

this world is a cruel and evil place

and i am not sure i want to be a part of it anymore

people kill eachother for no reason

people kill eachother because they like it

people we love and let close to us let us down

the only reason they are there is to fail you

to bring you down too

you cant let yourself love anyone because if you let your gaurd down

you will be destroyed

this life means nothing and when you die you are nothing

so if i die, then i am nothing

i would rather be nothing then a part of something so horrible

as this dimention that i live in

the good times are only there to make the bad times so much worse

logic only exists to be twisted by those who can

love doesnt exist

i thought i was in love, not only once but twice

the first time i thought i was wrong because i was manipulated

the second time was all a lie

friends are only there to go behind your back and destroy you from behind

enemies are the only ones you can trust because at least their intentions are out in the open

no one is innoscent

no one tells the truth

no one says what they mean

every day passes by, and it is an eternity before you get to your dreams

and when you get there you realise they arent what you want

or they arent what you need

or they arent possible to you

I wanted to start a family

I wanted to get married

I wanted to have kids

How can I have these things if there is no love

If there is no innoscence

Simon loved me once

but not anymore

Anthony loved me once

but not anymore

I will forever be alone

I will forever be nothing

When I die I will be nothing

I just wish it would happen already so the torture can stop

The happiness being taken away all the time

The lies

The cheating

The betrayal of trust and friendship

All you wanted was sex out of me

How do I know this is true?

Because you dont care that I am dying inside

You only care about yourself

Am I the only person who is able to care about people other than me?

Then when it gets to the point when I need someone

ANYONE

to care about me

I always find that I am alone

ALWAYS

I need to be held

I need to be loved

If I am alone for much longer I might die from the tears

Dramatic no?

Too much you think?

That's because you dont

Thats because we dont.

Im living in hell